What started out as an AITA post instead became an OSAIGCO — Oh S**t Am I Getting Cheated On??
A woman took to the popular subreddit to tell the story of a minor conflict with a neighbor, but everyone read something very different into it! She began by explaining how her neighbor “Ade” had recently lost her husband to a drunk driver while pregnant. The whole neighborhood has been coming together to help out the poor woman, and OP and her husband in particular “often checked on her, invited her over, conversations on how to handle being on your own while pregnant.”
Related: Oliver Hudson Admits He Cheated On His Wife — And Doesn’t Regret It!
Sounds totally generous. And then it starts stepping into sketchier territory…
“For a couple of weeks now, she’s been asking my husband to be her handyman. My husband has no issue with this and neither did I until a week or so ago. She asks my husband for help over the simplest things and barely talks to me anymore. Most times she’ll knock, ask if my husband is home and if I say no, she tells me to let him know she needs him and walks off. No talking, having chai together, nothing.”
Huh. Sounds like she’s much more interested in being friendly with the husband than the couple. But what are all these things she needs a handyman for? OP answered that question later on:
“I do not know the maintenance her home needs. I know some houses are minor ‘fixers’ so maybe that. My husband often just mentions plumbing or ventilation.”
OK… She continues:
“I can admit I am a little bit jealous and felt weird about this. It was like she was only wanting my husband around. I tried to push these feeling aside until the first incident.”
“The first incident”?? OK, now we’re getting spicy. She recounted:
“Basically she knocked on my door and handed a covered plate of cookies. I got excited and started to thank her, how the girls love cookies, but she interrupted me and told me that these were STRICTLY for my husband. Not for us. I had a sour taste in my mouth and thanked her. It made me feel like she was trying to have a Big House and Little House situation.”
Sorry, but WTF?!
That’s wild. That is a big red flag. Who would say something like that?? No wonder OP was bothered! And she didn’t keep her mouth shut about it either — and here we’re getting into the AITA part:
“I let my husband know what happened and how I felt. He assured me nothing was going on (no doubt) but he also agreed that what she did was disrespectful. We agreed he would stop going over. He would give her the numbers of men he knows who do maintenance.”
But that wasn’t the end. The second time she thought she might be the a-hole was the way Ade responded to having her handyman taken away:
“She has been cold with us. The second incident happened when the community was having a BBQ in our neighborhood park. The children were running around and us adults were sitting with the lawn chairs talking about whatever. Ade piped up and said how she is grateful to us all for helping her, even me after ‘it was strange how you basically forbid your husband to come over to help anymore’. I got a little mad, like I was slapped by God himself, and just said ‘well, baking a gift for my husband only and saying his wife and daughters aren’t included is strange too’. Another neighbor changed the topic, it was awkward.”
She added:
“My husband is not happy with how I responded. He says it is not my job to ‘check’ someone and I should’ve just let her talk.”
We’re sorry, he said WHAT to you??
OK, so while the poster ostensibly wants to know if hubby was right and she was being too harsh toward a pregnant widow, the commenters went a different way. Not only were they 100% on her side, they also weren’t convinced by the whole “He assured me nothing was going on (no doubt)” part! They read the situation and then read her man for filth!
“OP’s real problem is with the husband. Yes, the grieving widow was being weird and then downright rude, but how exactly did she come to know that OP forbade him going over? Seems like he didn’t communicate ‘I don’t feel comfortable helping you out anymore based on your behavior’ and instead communicated ‘I’m a good guy with a meanie wife who won’t let me come over anymore.’ Big difference.”
“No one’s going to comment on husband being TA for not standing up for his wife? This is reddit, how many stories is this the first red flag and then it turns out stuff was going on. She took a shot at OP, OP fired back, husband sided with NOT HIS WIFE. OP you seem completely convinced your husband is innocent, maybe he is, but y did he choose HER? Does he like the attention and secretly resents you interfering? I know you will say no, but ……. he didn’t choose you in a public moment when this lady took a nasty shot at you.”
“It also sounds like he totally threw her under the bus when delivering the message that he couldn’t come over anymore. ‘Sorry, my wife forbids it’. Not ‘hey I’m getting very busy at home but have some great maintenance guy recommendations.’”
More said the husband was worse than an a-hole — but likely a cheater! In particular there was a lot of attention paid to the “maintenance” he was performing for her. Not only is it a classic porn setup, it also is setting off a lot of alarm bells for folks who know a bit more about DIY!
See some of the logical — and passionate — responses:
“The neighbour appears to have him wrapped around her little finger. The damsel in distress act seems to always work on certain types of men. Add on the pregnant widow and we’re headed for disaster. Be vigilant, OP. This doesn’t sit right with me at all.”
“Plus honestly, how much DIY or maintenance help does one house need? It’s been two months since her husband died and your husband has had to go over multiple times? As a single woman who is useless at DIY and has to get someone in to fix almost anything, I don’t having people calling monthly never mind weekly.”
“Plumbing and ventaliation are two things that can be done in literally one day (assuming they’re not MASSIVE jobs which you would call a specialist for) and then not need them to be done again for months if not years.”
“My mind, why couldn’t she make a list. Why’s it constant things popping up. They likely aren’t things that have just happened etc. and surely your husband isn’t the only male on the street capable of fixing a few things around a house now is he? She’s chosen him.”
“I think something happened between husband and neighbor, and it was at that point that the neighbor stopped interacting with the wife. The plate of cookies was her marking her territory. The fact that the husband left the neighbor with the idea that wife was forbidding him to come over- huge red flag. The fact that the husband did not want the wife to defend herself from those accusations at the party- another huge red flag. Your neighbor doesn’t owe you loyalty, but your husband sure does…..and he is failing.”
“Seriously is he saying plumbing and ventilation? That’s a massive red flag my friend. It’s super weird. All of a sudden her husband dies and she undergoes ventilation repair? C’mon… NTA and your husband needs to draw a huge boundary there from now on. It’s clear as day your neighbor wants your husband. I just fear that he’s been giving her more comfort than he’s letting on to you…..”
“I’d bet dollars to donuts that even if he isn’t cheating with the neighbor, he was too much of a spineless coward to be the ‘bad guy’ and set boundaries with her.”
“NTA she’s trying to steal your man and if not, you shouldn’t take the chance. Trust your gut because men are clueless until it’s too late.”
“Yeah the fact that you’re making a post even asking whether this is straight up WRONG and BAD and RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE is way too late. This woman is straight up trying to steal your husband. Maybe already has. You know it, everyone knows it, your husband knows it.”
Damn, folks are convinced! And we have to say, even if we’re not ready to convict we certainly are ready to call the grand jury to indict. If hubby really is this clueless about how it all looks, he needs an education pronto. If he’s playing dumb, well… girl, run!
But what do YOU think, Perezcious readers? Are you convinced like so many of these commenters that the husband is being unfaithful?? Let us know your take in the comments (below)!
[Image via ABC Studios/Hulu.]
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