Grant and the ladies are back! And The Bachelor Season 29 Episode 2 is sometimes a long and awkward two hours.
Considering this is the first crop of dates, one would assume the girls would still be in the glow of being on The Bachelor and getting to know a good-looking, sweet guy, but emotions were high as hell.
And the ladies were doing that thing where they forgot what show they were on.
It’s only been one night since The Bachelor Season 29 Episode 1‘s rose ceremony, and naturally, all the girls are acting as if they haven’t seen Grant in seven years.
Lucky for them, Jesse Palmer shows up to tell them they still can’t see Grant yet, but they will be going on some dates that day! Hooray!
The first few episodes are always a struggle as far as the dates go because of the amount of people. One guy to ten girls will always cause some trouble, and the first date fell right into that category.
If there are two things we’ve learned about Grant thus far, it’s that basketball is life and that he wishes male R&B groups were still a thing because he’s just itching to be in the new iteration of Boyz II Men.
And both dates are a tribute to that!
The first date has the specially selected ladies getting coached up by two kids with cool ass names, Atticus and Journey, and they’re supposed to be getting lessons on how to play when Zoe decides to step in and be the first person of the season to rub someone the wrong way!
It typically doesn’t even take this long.
Zoe’s shooting her shot, and at this stage of the game, you’ve got to do something to stand out. You’re in a gym with nine other women and a bunch of screaming children; if you don’t do something, Grant will not remember you.
On the other hand, it’d be weird if the other girls weren’t annoyed that they were standing around staring at children instead of showing off for their man!
Zoe and Grant’s rooftop conversation is painfully generic, so it’s not even as if she makes much headway, but the girls don’t know that, and they’re pissed. Mostly, it is Alli Jo, as she’s decided to be the date’s spokesperson against injustice.
The game is a major dud because whoever picked the teams decided everyone tall should be on the same team. After all, that’s the way basketball is meant to be played!
The poor yellow team only scored two points, and Atticus and Journey deserved a better outcome.
The afterparty starts with MVP Chloie getting some time with Grant. She seems a bit surprised that Grant is truly there for the right reasons. She didn’t see Jenn’s season because he was a gem who truly cared for Jenn.
Chloie is nice, but she’s not giving final rose with her edit thus far, and neither is Alli Jo, who uses her time stuck in a room with the girls to call out Zoe.
Look, every season has a Zoe. There’s always someone who plays by their own rules, interrupts, and doesn’t respect everyone else’s time, like there’s a rulebook that tells you exactly how to approach a reality TV show with multiple people dating the same person simultaneously.
Grant and Natalie have a sweet chat, and he expresses how much that date wasn’t about basketball at all but about how the girls were with the kids. From what Grant and I could see, Natalie was the best.
Natalie’s another one who seems sweet, but she’s not getting that winner’s edit at all.
Now Juliana, on the other hand, Grant lights all the way up during their little short talk and even finds some oil so he can rub her hands up while they talk because she lost all her nails trying to shoot a ball through a hoop.
I didn’t see him pulling out any baby oil for anyone else’s hands! I’m just saying!
But Grant and Juliana are interrupted by ZOE, and you have to laugh. And laugh even harder when justice crusader Alli Jo interrupts Zoe to get her time before Zoe interrupts her to get some more time, and this is only episode two.
I don’t see Zoe and Grant connecting, but she’ll be sticking around for a while because she’s clearly engaged in some of the drama.
Before Grant returns, Alli Jo tries again to shame Zoe, and Zoe doesn’t react, and that’s not even the most awkward moment during this whole affair.
Grant gives the rose to Natalie, and that’s the end of that one.
Grant and Alexe have their solo date at an empty mall, and this show has gone to some beautiful places worldwide, but this may be one of the best dates I’ve seen.
Who hasn’t dreamed about running around the mall and doing whatever you want after hours? It’s fun and low stakes, and that’s precisely the vibe Grant and Alexe give when they’re together.
Nothing spectacular happens on this one, but they like each other, and she’ll stick around for some time.
The next group date sees the rest of the girls meeting Grant in this club, where MARIO is performing his number one hit, “Let Me Love You. ” Everyone vibes for a bit before they find out they have to write a song for Grant and sing and dance for him and random people in a short time.
The girls get dance lessons from Pussycat Dolls creator Robin Antin, and the dancing is interesting, as are the songs. No one is really on beat, and they did right to make this one of the shortest segments of the episode.
Carolina wins best song and dance, I guess, and she and Grant dance while Mario sings a song I have never heard before, and then they proceed to make out in front of this whole room of people, which is the apex of awkwardness.
At the after party, the girls are not thrilled about Grant and Carolina’s make out, and you can hear a pin drop when Grant walks into the room in an outfit that gives Bruno Mars.
Things go downhill from the start because everyone is acting weird, and Carolina is crying because she got to make out with Grant in the middle of a crowded room with American R&B singer MARIO right there, and no one is happy for her.
The best conversation of the night is between Grant and Litia, who tells him straight up that something he said in their first conversation was triggering for her and good on Grant for hearing her out and just apologizing.
He didn’t try to explain it away or act as if her feelings weren’t valid, and that’s why Grant is a top-tier bachelor. And if he disappoints me later, you never read that.
Even though Grant also has a decent chat with Carolina, he gives the rose to Litia, and now it’s time for everyone to go back to the mansion and wake up for another rose ceremony.
Bailey is crying a lot, and it didn’t make sense to me until she got a chance to talk to Grant. She had one of the realest reactions to being on this show that I’ve ever seen.
It’s an unnatural position, and it makes perfect sense that you may not know how to behave or what to do, making you clam up and not be yourself. A lot of people probably feel that but never voice it and then just get sent home before they get to really be themselves.
But anyone, there’s never enough time for too many emotions when there’s the most dramatic rose ceremony yet to get to.
Apologies, but I didn’t even remember Allyshia or Vicky, and Rebekah and Grant’s talk during the group date lacked any chemistry, so no surprise there. But Ella writing that man a note that he pocketed and STILL getting dumped was a little shocking.
I felt those tears from her because what do you mean I walked away from our conversation cheesing, and you didn’t even give me a rose?
All right, week two is done, and now we’re on to the next week, which will bring more tears and drama, and that’s what we all came to see, right?
Let me know your thoughts in the comment section so we can discuss it all!
You can watch The Bachelor on ABC at 8/7c on Mondays.
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