The Beat’s Gregory Paul Silber has been accused of having a bit of an… obsessive personality. In Silber Linings, he takes a humorous look at the weirdest, funniest, and most obscure bits of comics and pop culture that he can’t get out of his head.
This past Wednesday, Variety reported that Ebon Moss-Bachrach, a star Marvel Studios’ upcoming Fantastic Four reboot as The Thing, didn’t read FF comics, but he did say that his “earliest sexual visions” came from Elfquest comics.
I never read a single panel of the long-running series by Richard and Wendy Pini, but hear me out: this actually bodes well for Moss-Bachrach’s performance of the “ever-lovin’, blue-eyed’” Ben Grimm. And while we’re at it, let’s have an honest conversation about comic book crushes.
We all know that as much as comic books have dominated Hollywood over the past few decades, a lot of the people behind them—perhaps even most of them—don’t bother reading the source material of the comic book-based projects in which they’re involved.
There are some exceptions—Brie Larson appears to have read Captain Marvel comics in preparation of her role as the title character, and James Gunn frequently tweets about the comics that inspire him—but most people in general don’t read comics, so I assume most Hollywood types don’t either… at least not as heavily as most of you reading this site.
The thing is (pun intended I guess), in admitting that he’s had sexual attraction to comic book characters, albeit not in the FF, proves that Moss-Bachrach actually takes comics seriously. You don’t have parasocial relationships with fictional characters if you don’t take the media they appear in seriously. Moss-Bachrach, therefore, is a proven comic book fan, and I suspect he’ll read his share of Fantastic Four comics before filming commences.
It’s a little funny that horniness towards elves is something that The Bear actor was willing to publicly acknowledge, but let’s face it: if you read enough comics, you probably have some comic book crushes as well.
For example, it might sound a bit basic, but I’ve always had a thing for the superhero genre’s original love interest, Lois Lane. Sorry Superman. Hot, smart, and slightly snarky writers are definitely my type.
On the Marvel side (and again, I realize this is super basic), Mary Jane Watson (Parker?) was among my first comic book crushes. Admittedly, a lot of this had to do with my childhood crush on Kirsten Dunst when she starred opposite Toby Maguire in the original 2002 Spider-Man movie.
She broke my heart later that year when I got the DVD for Chanukah. In an “extra” in which the cast was asked whether they read Spider-Man comics, I distinctly remember her saying something to the tune of “come on, look at me. Do you really think I read Spider-Man comics as a little girl?” I didn’t mind that she didn’t read comics, but her dismissiveness towards geekdom in general crushed 11-year-old me.
Anyway, Mary Jane, the character—not just the actress who played her—is hot, and what’s even hotter is that she knows it. “Face it tiger… you just hit the jackpot” might be the sexiest thing anyone’s ever said in a superhero comic, especially when you remember that she originally said it the first time Peter Parker laid eyes on her.
I can go on and on about comic book characters I’ve had crushes on (Elektra, Barbara Gordon, Talia Al-Ghul…), but my point is that crushes on fictional characters is actually quite normal. “Parasocial relationships,” for good reason, have an insidious connotation, but as long as it doesn’t lead to anything toxic or creepy, it’s natural to feel a personal connection with characters you spend a lot of time with.
Comic book readers are especially prone to these kinds of parasocial crushes because many of us follow the same characters for years, even decades. When you spend that much time with someone, even if they’re not real, your relationship with them can feel richer and more real than your relationships with real people, like neighbors you never talk to. I know that Kate Pryde isn’t real, but I know a heck of a lot more about her than the guy in the apartment next to mine, and in that sense, she almost feels more real.
It’s worth noting, too, that many comic book creators aren’t shy about taking advantage of fan crushes. This is something that writers of Dick Grayson have leaned into over the past several years, especially in his Nightwing identity. I may be straight, but we all know Dick canonically has the best ass in the DC Universe, and I think that’s beautiful.
Comic book crushes are completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. I applaud Moss-Bachrach for (perhaps inadvertently) helping to normalize it.
Catch up with past entries of Silber Linings in our extensive archive.
Related
