In recent years, intimacy coordinators have become kind of a hot topic when it comes to filmmaking, with a surprising amount of seasoned actors speaking out against them. For reference, an intimacy coordinator is a professional who choreographs and coordinates intimate or nude scenes in TV shows and movies; they advocate for the actors involved and support them on set to ensure they feel comfortable and safe during filming.
Just last week, Gwyneth Paltrow hit the headlines when it was reported that she and her costar Timothée Chalamet “all but waved off their intimacy coordinator” when they filmed the sex scenes for their upcoming movie, Marty Supreme. Gwyneth told Vanity Fair at the time: “We have a lot of sex in this movie. There’s a lot— a lot. There’s now something called an intimacy coordinator, which I did not know existed… I was like: ‘Girl, I’m from the era where you get naked, you get in bed, the camera’s on.’”
Meanwhile, other stars have praised the introduction of intimacy coordinators, and said that they would have preferred to have had this support available when they were starting out in the industry. Former Boy Meets World star Rider Strong previously reflected on his “horribly uncomfortable” and “creepy” kissing scenes as a child star, and said on his Pod Meets World podcast: “The role of an intimacy coordinator makes so much sense to me. I love the idea. That never existed, and now it’s become pretty standard on set, and I love it.”
And Kate Winslet echoed this sentiment when alluding to her nude scene in Titanic, which was her first major acting role. She told the New York Times: “I would have benefited from an intimacy coordinator every single time I had to do a love scene or be partially naked or even a kissing scene. It would have been nice to have had someone in my corner because I always had to stand up for myself.”
Heck, Ewan McGregor revealed just last year that he used an intimacy coordinator when filming sex scenes with his real-life wife, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, in their TV series A Gentleman in Moscow, explaining that the role is just as necessary for the crew members on set as the actors. He told the Radio Times: “It’s still necessary, because it’s also about the crew. And it’s odd to be naked in front of people; it’s odd to be intimate in front of the camera.”
And now, Kristin Davis has detailed her mixed experiences of working with an intimacy coordinator as she landed somewhere in the middle of the ongoing discourse. For reference, the 60-year-old star shot to fame as Charlotte York in the ‘90s series Sex and the City, which is renowned for its risqué sex scenes. She reprised the role of Charlotte in the sequel series And Just Like That… in 2021, where she still regularly stars in intimate scenes.
Speaking on Monday’s episode of her podcast Are You a Charlotte?, Kristin admitted that she’d had negative experiences with an intimacy coordinator in the past, but they’ve struck a perfect balance with the one who is involved in AJLT. Speaking to her guest, actor Oliver Hudson, Kristin confessed: “Intimacy coordinators, I’ve had good and bad since this new dawning of the intimacy coordinator. I have had bad!”
Kristin then explained that her bad experience came when she was working on an indie movie that she did not name. She said: “It was one of my first times with one, and I think that’s part of it for us who’ve been around a long time… [they used to] just say: ‘Which little tiny thing would you like to wear?’ Then, you know: ‘Get in the bed, let’s get rid of the extra crew,’ and that was about it. Hopefully you were in tune with your costar, that’s what it was about. And the director, but mostly your costar.”
“The thing that we have learned with And Just Like That…, because we have a lovely intimacy coordinator, it’s more about… She’ll say: ‘What are you worried about? What are you nervous about? And I’ll watch the monitors and make sure that’s not happening,’” Kristin explained. “So it’s like another set of eyes for you.”
Oliver, who played Che Diaz’s surprise husband Lyle in Season 2 of And Just Like That…, and filmed a threesome sex scene with Cynthia Nixon, who plays Miranda, and Sara Ramirez, who plays Che, agreed — revealing that the show was the first time he’d worked with an intimacy coordinator. He said: “I loved it, honestly, it really did make things really easy and really great. I was game for anything.”
And the importance of intimacy coordinators was reiterated to Oliver when he inadvertently “triggered” Sara during filming with a move that had not been pre-agreed.
“It was great, [the intimacy coordinator] was like: ‘OK, how do you feel about putting your hand here and doing this,’” he shared. “And I made a move and Sara was not cool with it. Totally sweet, but it sort of triggered them… And that’s when I became completely submissive, like a dog with my feet and hands up, like: ‘I’ll do whatever! Just tell me what to do, and I’m game!’”
Neither Oliver nor Kristin went into any further detail on what happened during this particular sex scene, and BuzzFeed has contacted Sara’s rep for comment — let me know your thoughts below.
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