It’s a new season of Vanderpump Rules. While some things are different — James and Ally have a house now and Schwartz has taken up a love for houseplants — many things have stayed the same. Take, for instance, Sandoval and Ariana‘s living situation. Yes, they ARE still living together under the same roof, but with the help of a no-contact policy, it isn’t that bad… right? RIGHT? It also helps that Sandoval is busy filming a show in New Zealand, limiting his time breathing the same air as Ariana… and limiting his screen time during this premiere. Win, win.
Katie remains Ariana’s emotional support bestie/business partner. Ariana cannot believe that Sandoval wants to buy her out of the house so HE can stay, and she muses that she believes he is still with Rachel, aka Raquel. According to Ariana, Sandoval and Rachel remain pen pals, exchanging postcards that even have lightning bolts on them. Oh, and in case you were worried, Sandoval DID repair his penis flute that was broken in anger last season… #priorities.
Katie and Ariana are going thrifting for their sandwich shop, Something About Her, so yeah, I think those two have bigger fish to fry three months post-Scandoval.
James and Ally are now homeowners, and it really doesn’t matter that they live right next to the airport, does it?! I mean, the house has a POOL… and constant air traffic. James is reeling in delight that now HE can throw his own parties and leave a select few off of the guest list, especially after the way he was treated the past year… as Sandoval had an affair with his ex-girlfriend. James is definitely still not over it. As he and Ally build furniture in their backyard, we can barely hear what they are discussing due to the low-flying airplanes, but I am surmising it has something to do with Scandoval.
Scheana and Brock compare notes to see if Sandoval has spoken to either of them. The answer is no… even after they both texted Sandoval after one of his childhood friends passed away. Scheana realizes that Sandoval has blocked her, her podcast, and little Summer Moon (I mean, how COULD he?!), and she wonders what Rachel is doing after being in the facility for 75 days.
Lala officially has a new roommate: her mom, Lisa, who has picked up her life in Utah and now helps raise Ocean. Lala explains that her brother Easton has moved into the same complex as Lala. She states that dating is on hold, partly due to the family forever being around, but mainly because the custody situation with Ocean still needs to get wrapped up. Lala’s main goal is the well-being of Ocean, whereas Randall’s biggest thing is, “I don’t want to give her [Lala] full legal custody because that would mean she could put Ocean on Vanderpump Rules.”
Lala is still working through all of the past trauma, and she has been a ball of emotions as she tries to navigate healing. Lala shares how she questions any man who comes into anyone’s life after being burned so badly in her last relationship.
Schwartz and James meet up for a dude date. Schwartz gifts James a candle and a houseplant for his new place, and for a moment, I wonder, Sandoval who? Schwartz takes a moment to address how Sandoval’s affair caused their bar to become a toxic environment. He goes on to say that Sandoval did apologize for using him as a shield for the affair. Schwartz explains that Scandoval was the “radioactive cherry” on top of a sh*t year, but on a lighter note, he is happy to be on good terms with James (despite that awkward smooch he had with Rachel in Mexico in between her evidently sleeping with Sandoval).
James has decided to stop drinking again, and he looks better than he has in a bit. He is trying to leave the past in the past, and Schwartz wants to do the same. However, the fact that he has not spoken to Ariana since the fallout has been upsetting him. Schwartz worries about the upcoming DJ gig James has at TomTom because he knows he will def see Ariana there.
Scheana and Ariana meet up for a couple’s massage. They talk about Ariana’s new man, Dan, and how the LDR is going. Scheana worries that Ariana jumped in too soon without processing the affair, but as long as Ariana is happy…
Scheana explains that her OCD and anxiety spun out of control after Scandoval broke, and so she is on Zoloft. When asked about Schwartz, Ariana states that she is not actively ignoring him, but after Schwartz’s WWHL appearance, she does not see a friendship with him in the future.
Before heading out to TomTom, Ariana FaceTimes her new man for a pep talk. She explains, “I shouldn’t have to make my life smaller because Tom messed everything up,” and Dan does a good job being her cheerleader.
Over at the bar, James gets a visit in with LVP before his DJ set begins. Ariana holds onto Katie for dear life as they enter, and it’s a little different for the girls walking in now as the exes of both Toms. Ariana lets the group know that she is a little nervous, and when Schwartz walks over, she completely ices him out. Schwartz calls Ariana the “patron saint of scorned women,” but he keeps trying for a hello.
The flashbacks of all the memories of happier times with Ariana and Sandoval pull at heartstrings, but then we are immediately reminded that she is way better off now. The ladies toast to a summer of “bad b*tches” as James spins and Lala steals LVP away for a chat. Now that the dust has settled around Scandoval, Lala realizes she can relate to Rachel’s feeling of isolation and control by a man. LVP can’t believe that Rachel had the balls to go against Sandoval and speak the truth, and Lala sees a lot of parallels between her life and Scandoval.
Katie chats with Scheana and wonders if she can trust her in the future. Last summer, Scheana was ready to write off her friendship with Katie, but now they can bond over common enemies, so they decide to have a girls’ night tomorrow. As the group vibes inside the bar, Lala decides NOW would be the perfect time to reach out to Rachel. She heads to a new setting — the TomTom back alley — and sends Rachel a text just to let her know that she wants to have a conversation with her. And… Rachel read the text.
Later, Schwartz and Katie only communicate when it has to do with their dogs, but they do sit down to chat about the night before at TomTom. Schwartz is not too dense to realize that Ariana is ignoring him, and Katie suggests he just reach out to her to try and repair their friendship.
It’s girls’ night, and Katie shares that she saw Schwartz… and his pet bugs. Ariana remains cold toward Schwartz missing her, and Lala points out that Sandoval inflicted mental abuse on Schwartz. Lala claims she can’t tell if Ariana likes her or tolerates her at times, and she gets emotional discussing how she is truly sensitive despite her hard outer shell. Lala feels as though Ariana is too hard to crack, but Ariana makes it clear that she wants to make their friendship solid.
The minute Ariana says this, Lala comes clean about her text to Rachel. Ariana finds this fascinating considering that for a year and a half, Lala wouldn’t allow anyone to communicate with Randall, and yet here’s Lala, texting the enemy. Katie makes it clear that Lala’s story is not Ariana’s story, and Lala wonders how long she can sit back and let Rachel wallow in those feelings.
Scheana reminds Lala that Rachel also brought her into the hot seat by putting a temporary restraining order on her. Ariana worries that Rachel will see Lala having this convo with her as a foot-in-the-door conversation. Let it be clear that no one wants Rachel’s foot in their door… ever. While the girls toast to a good night, a certain worm with a mustache arrives back “home” at his shared house…
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