‘Friends’ Most Bizarre Episode Has a Deeper Meaning

The Big Picture

• Phoebe’s possession plot makes “The One With The Lesbian Wedding” the strangest and most unbelievable episode of Friends, but it was also groundbreaking.
• The episode gives no hints that Phoebe’s possession isn’t real, as her behavior proves that she is being inhabited by the spirit of an old woman.
• Meanwhile, Carol and Susan’s wedding was a milestone for representation when it aired in 1996, and has aged well in the decades since.

Decades after the sitcom ended, Friends is still wildly popular. The show follows six friends, Ross Geller (David Schwimmer), Rachel Green (Jennifer Aniston), Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc), Monica Geller (Courteney Cox), Chandler Bing (Matthew Perry), and Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow), as they support each other during their struggling careers and love lives. The 90s show remains grounded for anyone who can suspend their disbelief enough to excuse the size of their apartments and the series’ occasional veer into the improbable and outright weird. Many episodes involve plot points like monkeys and conspiracy theories, but none compare to those about Friend’s unique character, Phoebe. From adopting rat babies to believing a cat is her reincarnated mother, Phoebe has no shortage of bizarre story arcs. She’s unpredictable, but many of her quirks can be explained by her past or indeterminate beliefs. One Phoebe plot crosses a line into being completely far-fetched as she’s possessed by a dead massage client, who will not leave Phoebe’s body despite her efforts. Phoebe randomly spouts old lady sayings or talks about people she doesn’t know, making this possession seem plausible and more than her personal belief. This is undoubtedly the strangest episode of Friends, but it was also groundbreaking.

Phoebe’s possession occurs in Season 2, Episode 11, “The One With The Lesbian Wedding,” when Ross’s first ex-wife, Carol (Jane Sibbett), finally marries her new partner, Susan (Jessica Hecht), in one of the first on-screen same-sex weddings. Friends isn’t always inclusive. Not only did the show struggle with a lack of representation, but many of the jokes haven’t aged well. The running jokes about Chandler’s transgender parent and Ross marrying a lesbian cross a line into homophobia. Yet this wedding is a standout. Because the episode focuses on the characters rather than politics, it aged fairly well. Even Ross grows to accept Carol and Susan’s relationship and support them, which was rare in 1996. Though this episode provides the most outright bizarre plot of the series, it is an important addition to the show and history.

‘Friend’s Strangest Plot Centers Around Pheobe

From the beginning, Phoebe is the wildcard of the friend group, so it’s no surprise that she is the center of this plot. Though she is not inexcusably dumb, Phoebe sees this in a unique way, and her rare blend of positive energy and dark edge sets her apart. When she enters the episode, her client, Rose Adelman, has just died on the massage table. Understandably, Phoebe is shaken by this event. She admits to her friends that, at the moment of death, she was cleansing Rose’s aura and felt it depart, but not far, entering Phoebe herself. This sets off a chain of events as her voice randomly changes, spouting old clichés or interacting with her friends in a grandma-like way. While most of Phoebe’s odd behavior can be explained by the character’s nature, this possession is seemingly proven in her behavior. Either she is very dedicated to this practical joke that gets no payoff in the episode, or she is actually playing host to the spirit of an old woman.

The presence of Rose gets on everyone’s nerves, including Phoebe’s. So, she goes on a mission to help Rose move on. Phoebe meets Rose’s husband to learn why she may have stuck around. Mr. Adelman (Phil Leeds) admits that his deceased wife wanted to “see everything,” setting a difficult task that Phoebe undertakes. She takes her unwanted companion around the city sightseeing in hopes of getting rid of her. Yet only when she witnesses two women getting married does the apparently bigoted Rose Adelman announce that she’s seen it all and leave Phoebe. The possession is never referenced again throughout the show and is never explained. Though a show with as many seasons as Friends is sure to have some plotlines that don’t fit, Phoebe being possessed makes no sense, and the series doesn’t try to explain. While Friends has some logical discrepancies, they are rarely this egregious, making Rose Adelman’s contribution stand out.

This Episode of ‘Friends’ Was Groundbreaking for Its Time

Though he is originally upset about his ex-wife’s marriage, Ross accepts it, even helping to convince her to go through with it. Ross has a fraught relationship with Susan, which is understandable given their situation. Though he points out that he would still be upset if Carol were remarrying a man, his initial reaction is less than accepting. Yet when Carol has a breakdown when her parents refuse to support her, Ross swallows his pride, not only attending the wedding but walking Carol down the aisle. Ross’s growth helps the series move on from this early plot point as he learns to interact and co-parent with the couple.

Now it’s standard, but Carol and Susan’s wedding was controversial when the episode aired in 1996. This was before New York legalized same-sex weddings, and therefore, NBC prepared for backlash. Some networks refused to air the episode, but it didn’t receive the reaction the creators expected. Though Carol coming out as gay and leaving Ross to be with a woman is used as a joke throughout the series, the wedding itself is handled nicely. There are a few lines highlighting the political side of this issue, as Monica explains that they should get married because of their love, and the officiant states that the joining of any two people is a joy to God. Yet the plot point of the wedding mostly centers on Ross’s character growth, which makes sense as neither Carol nor Susan are particularly significant characters in the overall series.

Because the episode isn’t deeply political, it aged well. Though there is an unavoidable political aspect to it, “The One With the Lesbian Wedding” doesn’t dive too far into it, letting the episode remain relevant even after LGBTQ+ people have gained more widespread acceptance. In the end, it shows Ross accepting Carol and Susan’s relationship and supporting them, which was fairly novel in 1996. Friends wasn’t the best at representation, with six straight white leads, but this episode shows a successful attempt. And the limited backlash is a milestone, though admittedly a strange one. This groundbreaking wedding is paired with Phoebe’s bizarre plot, but the episode was significant to the show for its representation.

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