‘Couple to Throuple’s’ Scott Evans and Dr. Shamyra Howard Debunk Polyamory Myths [Interview]

The Big Picture

• Polyamory isn’t the same as polygamy; it involves multiple romantic relationships with the consent of all parties.
• Honesty and showing up are key to making any relationship work, whether polyamorous, open, or monogamous.
• Monogamous couples in
  Couple to Throuple
  face challenges shifting values while trying to discover if polyamory is right for them.

Many people think of polyamory in two ways. Some think people use polyamorous relationships to “cheat” on their partners, while others equate it more to polygamy, as seen on shows like Sister Wives and every true crime documentary about Warren Jeffs. Polyamory and polygamy are not the same, and Peacock’s new series Couple to Throuple explores the true definition of polyamory.Polyamory, or ethical non-monogamy, is vastly different from polygamy, which the unconventional reality series showcases. Polygamous relationships involve one person being with multiple people, whereas polyamory provides a level playing field. Polyamory is defined as “the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.”

The key word in the definition is consent. Both people in the primary relationship have to be on board when it comes to dating other people. Dr. Shamyra Howard, the licensed sexologist providing guidance to the Couple to Throuple participants, delved deeper into the aspects of ethical non-monogamy in a recent interview with Collider. She said: “When we’re talking about ethical non-monogamy, we are specifically talking about being in a relationship with more than one person and having the knowledge and understanding and consent that this is happening and being aware of the risks. It’s not just cheating or an excuse to cheat or people just getting involved in a dynamic because someone else has cheated… it’s a real relationship structure that’s been around since forever. It’s just being popularized now, but it’s a real relationship structure.”

Scott Evans, the host of Couple to Throuple, has had this experience first-hand and shared his perspective. Scott told Collider: “I think the thing that makes a difference [for] any relationship work, whether it’s poly, whether it’s open, whether it’s monogamous, is your honesty. And your willingness to show up even when you don’t want to are the things that make it work. I think on our show, Couple to Throuple, I think the thing that makes this dynamic [that makes] people so curious about it, and the thing that I believe that makes our show work so well is that you’re in an environment where other people are also engaging in this experience.” Scott’s statement could not be more true. All the couples participating in the experience have never pursued an open relationship before, making Scott and Shamyra’s presence necessary to navigate engaging with new singles.

Exploring the Dynamic of Singles vs. Couples in ‘Couple to Throuple’

One of the most interesting aspects of Couple to Throuple is that there is a bank of singles awaiting the couple’s whims and decisions. The singles involved in the experience have all already been involved in polyamorous relationships before, creating an interesting dynamic as they interact with the couples. Scott shared: “The singles who showed up to this experience, for the most part, had some experience with polyamory, not just non-monogamy. So, they were ready to make emotional connections. They were prepared to help these couples understand that this was not just about ‘a threesome.’ This was not just about hooking up, and– not to say that the couples had that intention, but where any of those wires may have been crossed, our singles made very sure [they] go and uncross some of these wires.”

Shamyra agreed, noting: “Many of the singles are, were experienced in polyamory already. And, to their surprise, what they realized was that this situation going to be. What they envisioned it would be. It was going to take work from everyone’s part for there to be some form equity in the throuple.”

The couples face their fair share of issues early on, and their relationships with their primary partners are really put to the test. Some couples may not be ready for a polyamorous lifestyle, and that is also a positive outcome from the experience in its own way. Shamyra shared: “These were monogamous couples. When you have monogamous couples with their monogamous values trying to enter into non-monogamous spaces where their values have to shift, it’s difficult for them.”

It’s a necessary mind shift, too, as they must discover whether they really can bring someone new into their relationship. Scott said: “I don’t necessarily think that open relationships are for everyone, just like I don’t think that monogamy is for everyone. Just like I don’t think that marriage is for everyone. So, at some point, we have to be willing to kind of take a pause and then identify what the options are that are available to us, what support and resources are available to us, and then be open and honest about what our needs, [and] our desires.”

Time will tell if all of the couples are ready to open their relationships up, but, based on what viewers have already seen, it seems likely that a few couples will return to monogamy. To learn more about ethical non-monogamy and Couple to Throuple, check out Collider’s full interview with Scott and Shamyra above.

New episodes of Couple to Throuple premiere weekly on Thursdays, only on Peacock.

Watch On Peacock